Small Town, America

This is my town.  This is where my husband grew up, where I have lived for the last eleven years, where my children are growing up..
Families walk the path around the park by the river, and children laugh and play.
Dogs are walked. Friends get together.
Kids on bikes are easily found after school and during the summer.
Neighbors help with pets when needed, bring in the mail, watch the house.
We have lunch with friends, go fishing, picnic in the park, catch a movie at the theater, work and shop downtown, send flowers to those we love.
Our children play softball and soccer, football and participate on the swim team, attend school with friends and go to sleepovers.
This is my town. Our town.

This is Home.
My daughter dances at the local dance center.
My oldest son rides his bike across town to the pool with his friends.
My youngest son digs in the dirt and finds bugs in our yard.
My husbands parents live across the street from us.
This. Is. Home.

This is also the place where a murder/arson trial has been in session for the last two weeks.  I'll admit that I've been following the live feed from the courthouse, which is just down the street from my office.  The home where a young mother lost her life is just down the street in another direction.  I did not know the family, but did know of them.  My husband knows her husband.  I know that two little boys are motherless.  I cannot imagine what the family members are going through, what they have been going through for the last two years.  I pray that I never have to know.
I listen to the court proceedings, and I am saddened.  I am heartbroken for the boys and for the young mother's family and friends.  I am in disbelief that this tragedy happened here.. here in my little town.  We've been thrust into the national spotlight.. and this trial is all the reporters show about our town.

And I go home to my husband and to my two boys and to my girl.  I see my friends and neighbors, everything that makes this town my home.  I drive the streets of this town and know that we are so much more than this trial.  We are everything I mentioned above, and we are So much more.

Just a Closer Walk with Thee

There is a woman I've known since I was in fifth grade.  She introduced me to the clarinet and later to the oboe.  She opened the door for an opportunity to be a part of something musically beautiful, and I will be forever thankful for that.  She was there as I, and my classmates, grew and discovered.  She was my band teacher.. but she was always so much more. She was, and is even more now, a friend, a mentor, an inspiration.
I can honestly say that my favorite place to be through high school was on the couch in her office.  It was a safe place for my friends and me to be, a place of comfort so much deeper than those worn cushions.  She understood us as so much more than students. There, among the sheet music and reeds, I felt so at home, so welcomed.  We talked and laughed, discussed and learned about things beyond textbooks, we prayed. Her faith was apparent to me then, and it inspires me now.
God only gives you what you can handle.
You've probably heard it, you've probably said it.. I know I have.  Many times over the last year I have wondered Just how much one person, one family can handle.
She's been through a lot. And, not just her.. but her family also.  She has faced so many challenges and faced them with strength and courage and faith.  I'm sure, as anyone who is human would, she's doubted and she's been afraid and she's broken down.. But, she never lets it get her down for long.  She comes back stronger and more determined and with more faith and trust in God.  She shows me how to let go of my worry, if only for a little while, and trust that everything will work out as it needs to.  When I find myself struggling with the little petty problems in my life, I think of her.  And I say a little prayer.. a prayer for her and her family..

I am weak, but Thou art strong;
Jesus, keep me from all wrong;
I’ll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

I truly believe that God brings people into our lives for a reason.  People to help us along this road of life, to help us grow, to walk with us.  I am blessed to call my band teacher my Friend.  I'm so very glad to have her in my life.  I am a better person because I know her.

Taking Life One Tic at a Time

It has happened.  I knew better than to even wish it.. but I did it anyway.
I wished the tic away.
And, it is going away.  Only to be replaced, as I knew it would.. and the new tic is, well, new.

For those of you who don't know my son, he has Tourette Syndrome. He has Tourette's. No, he doesn't yell obscenities at random moments. Yes, he does repeatedly make noises (vocal tics), and he repeatedly does little things like turn his head back and forth, flex certain muscles, jump, or blink in a big way (motor tics). Sometimes the tics are hardly noticeable.. except for me. I see them all. Sometimes, like now, the tics make a much bigger presence in our life.

Back to that wish that I knew I shouldn't have made..
I'm thankful the painful throat-clearing tic is passing. I'm fearful of what his new tic could cause him emotionally.. It's not a 'grunt' really, but kind of is.. And, this one is the loudest one to make an appearance. He's had some troubles with other kids. That trouble was with the  milder tics. This momma is scared for her boy.
Have I done enough to assure him that he's perfect, tics and all?
Have I helped him to grow in confidence so he can have the strength to get through this?

My advice to my son when he encounters someone new or someone who just doesn't understand is always to stay calm and explain. I'm planning to give my first speech in y.e.a.r.s. to his sixth grade class. I'm not going to lie, I get nervous just thinking about it. But, it's time, and I'm going to do it.

Tourette Syndrome is an inherited neurological disorder that causes a person to 'tic' involuntarily and repetitively. It is not contagious. It affects boys more often than girls, and children typically start 'ticing' in early childhood, some sources say around the age of seven. My son started ticing when he was three. We just didn't know what was going on at the time.. We just thought our little boy liked to jump.. a Lot. His preschool teacher first suggested Tourette Syndrome as a possibility after noticing things during the few hours a day she had him in class. The tics are caused by a misfire in the brain and can vary from mild to very severe, simple to complex, they wax and wane, and new tics mix in with familiar ones. From what I have heard from our neurologist and others with Tourette's, we can expect tics to increase through puberty and possibly decrease in adulthood to the point where most won't notice the tics at all (which is my hope for my boy). It's the next several years to work through first.
Tourette Syndrome Awareness month is coming up, May 15 - June 15. I am getting a jump on spreading awareness, I wish I had done more over the last several years. As I explain to my son, you can't get angry at someone who doesn't understand. It is our job to spread the information and to correct mis-information.

If you'd like, you can read about our Months of Mad when we decided that we were going to try managing our everyday withOut medication.

For more information about Tourette Syndrome, you can visit the Tourette Syndrome Association.