With a snarky chuckle he was so amused with himself.. I was so deeply hurt for the young girl beside me, and I hoped with all my heart that she didn't catch the comments, hoped that she'd toned out the conversation happening at the table next to us while scrolling through Instagram..
Last August I met a brave young girl from the other side of the planet. I'm sure she felt like she was in a different world coming here into small town America from high-rise urban China. She was my friend's family's newest exchange student.. a shy and quiet girl who, as we all later learned, battled an inner critic like many of the rest of us. She had fears and insecurities she brought with her from home and couldn't find the way to communicate them while navigating this new environment and trying to adjust to a completely different way of life.
Three months ago I joined my friend as we saw her off on her long journey home after celebrating the Chinese New Year together.
Three months and that overheard comment still makes me cringe.. and has made me think a lot about being a "mannequin".. A mannequin frozen in fear of the what ifs and wonderings that those inner critics are so talented at whispering repeatedly, uncomfortable in the very skin she wears, unsure in social situations, feeling so very unSeen and completely unKnown, and overanalyzing what to say and especially what has already been said. I've had "mannequin" moments myself. I know at least one of my children has had moments also. I am sure many have.
To all the Mannequins who read this ~ You are not alone in your feelings. You are seen, and there are people who want to know the true and authentic You. Keep your eyes open to those souls that are reaching out to you. Be Brave and confront your fears, acknowledge your fears and lessen their power over you. Be gentle with yourselves as you become YOU and shed the mannequin shell. It's not easy, and there will be moments that make you want to step right back into that shell.. mannequin skin in much stronger than human skin. Speak Life to yourself. Speak Love to yourself. Seek out those who bring encouragement and strength and a patient listening ear to your life.To a dear girl in China ~ I'm so very glad to have known you. You helped me to grow and encouraged me (unknowingly) to quiet my endless flow of words so that you might be able to speak some of your own. Spread your wings and fly..
