This morning.. oh, this morning.. to say it was a 'bad morning' is a total understatement. It all started with a pan of scrambled eggs, and it ended with screaming and snide comments and even a few tears. We were screaming over scrambled eggs.. He had more. She was being mean. She took MY eggs. He wouldn't stop. Eggs. Scrambled eggs unevenly scooped on three plates..
There is a family, a friend of my cousin, who will spend today saying goodbye to their little boy. Today they bury their months-old baby.. SIDS is suspected as the cause. Suddenly, with no warning, with no explanation, their son was gone.
And we were screaming over scrambled eggs this morning.
I would LOVE to say that here is where my level head prevailed. I would love to say that I calmly stayed out of it and let them figure it out. I would even love to say that I rationally guided them so they could find a solution. I would LOVE to say those things.. but I can't. I'm quite ashamed to say that I completely lost my temper, on this the fifth morning of the new school year, and joined them in the screaming. This mom.. *sigh* This mom was screaming with her children over eggs this morning.. I told my thirteen year old and my nine year old that they were acting like toddlers.. but what I didn't say was that I was acting like a child too.
They ate and glared and muttered things under their breath.. I rushed around trying to finish getting myself ready for the day.. We hurried out the door and off to school.. No "I Love You"s were said.. No "Have a Great day!" or "See you later"s or even HUGS.. Nothing.. I dropped them off and left.
And another family is preparing to bury their little boy.
This morning I failed myself.. but more importantly I failed my children. I did the Exact opposite of what I TELL them, what I try every day to teach them.. I undermined myself with my ACTIONS. How on earth can I expect them to react in a calm and rational manner.. when I can't even do that myself?
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